Amazing Meatless (Spicy) Meatballs

from: Jamey W. Bennett
to: Daniel Larkin
date: Wed, Apr 17, 2013 at 12:41 PM

Well Dude,

You know how it is with the faux meats. It can be hit and miss. I’ve never actually tried the faux meatballs I’ve seen at the store, but I’ve read a few complains about them online. And I’m rarely satisfied in my kitchen if I don’t get to use a damn spice or two.

So enter the amazing (spicy) meatless meatballs I just made up. And they are easy as balls, because that’s how balls should be.

Start with one package of Gimme Lean soy protein sausage. This was an accidental stroke of genius, as I simply bought this the other day at Whole Foods, without any real plan of what I would do with it. When the meatball light went off in my brain, I knew what I had to do.

Set that aside, and get out the food processor, at least if you want to do this the easy way. Throw in 1/4 cup of chopped red onion (you might choose to omit this, but these onions will be cooked), and mince that shit up. Squeeze in the faux sausage (careful or your hands will get sticky).

Now, we’re making this easy, so just put in 1 teaspoon of each of the following: oregano, parsley, crushed red pepper (less if you want it less spicy, duh), and minced garlic (about two cloves if you’re going fresh).  Add 1/4 cup of grated parmesan/romano cheese, and 1/4 cup of bread crumbs. Then a few grinds of black pepper. Run the food processor until everything is mixed.

Then make balls. It doesn’t take a genius to do it. Kindergarteners do this shit with PlayDough.

Fry them until nice and browned.

Do whatever you want with them after that. I mean, they’re your balls. I dipped my balls in marinara and let them simmer for a bit before tossing them with some penne and marinara.

And there you have it. Tasty, tasty, faux meat meatballs.

Jamey

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